lonely...I'm Mr. Lonely...

She is hurt enough..
Can't you just stop hurting her??
Her parents bring her to this world to enjoy life...

Her heart is meant to pump blood..
Not meant to be hurt..

The fear of loneliness is still somewhere in her heart
She tried so hard to eliminate the fear
but she is not strong enough
therefore, she hide it somewhere deep down in her heart

She thought that she won't feel that anymore
but she was wrong..

Whenever she is there,
sitting alone..or maybe
when she was telling some other people about that,
*dong*
here comesthe fear
the sadness
the feel of loneliness

She may keep joking and laughing or maybe, just smiling
but who knows what's playing in her mind at that time??
She hopes that the moment of happiness will not end..
She will not stop joking, laughing, smiling..

But the cruel reality disappoint her
she stops
not because she is tired
it's just simply because there's no one beside her anymore..

Thus, she is trying damn hard to be independent
she is still trying hard now
however, no matter how hard she tries,
she still feels lonely at times..

She once said
"friends are forever"
"once I said you are my friend, then you are...forever"
and she said to those people
"once you are, forever you are"
but how true it can be??
now she gotta said...
"we are distanced"

She is very tired of trying to guess who is true and who is not
she is not observantshe can't differentiate truths or lies
she doesn't know haw many big fat liars will appear in her life
she's tryna to be optimistic..
believing that there are someone she can rely trust and rely on..
she found some but still doubting...

She is still doubting...