lonely...I'm Mr. Lonely...

She is hurt enough..
Can't you just stop hurting her??
Her parents bring her to this world to enjoy life...

Her heart is meant to pump blood..
Not meant to be hurt..

The fear of loneliness is still somewhere in her heart
She tried so hard to eliminate the fear
but she is not strong enough
therefore, she hide it somewhere deep down in her heart

She thought that she won't feel that anymore
but she was wrong..

Whenever she is there,
sitting alone..or maybe
when she was telling some other people about that,
*dong*
here comesthe fear
the sadness
the feel of loneliness

She may keep joking and laughing or maybe, just smiling
but who knows what's playing in her mind at that time??
She hopes that the moment of happiness will not end..
She will not stop joking, laughing, smiling..

But the cruel reality disappoint her
she stops
not because she is tired
it's just simply because there's no one beside her anymore..

Thus, she is trying damn hard to be independent
she is still trying hard now
however, no matter how hard she tries,
she still feels lonely at times..

She once said
"friends are forever"
"once I said you are my friend, then you are...forever"
and she said to those people
"once you are, forever you are"
but how true it can be??
now she gotta said...
"we are distanced"

She is very tired of trying to guess who is true and who is not
she is not observantshe can't differentiate truths or lies
she doesn't know haw many big fat liars will appear in her life
she's tryna to be optimistic..
believing that there are someone she can rely trust and rely on..
she found some but still doubting...

She is still doubting...

seventh of april

The e-PPDa competition is on Wednesday(tomorrow) and Thursday..
Basically, tomorrow we have to build the powerpoint presentation there and there..
48 slides in 3 hours..
At first, all of us thought it's ok, we can manage it!!
But we are wrong..

It turns out that we must use microsoft 2003...
Which we are blur in..
We are so used to 2007!!

When we practised building it up today..
I feel so frustrated!!
I can't find the thing I wanna find..
custom animation, hyperlink wordart and etc..

I myself used 1 hour and 3 minutes to finish my part which is only 16 slides..
We actually planned to use 45 minutes each person
and 15 minutes to do the animation!!
GOD...

We presented in front of a F1 class today in the media room..
We have already forgotten most of our script..
We got the comments from the class..
and we are going to improve ourselves based on the comments..
the most important thing is..
memorize the script!!!!!

And they said that I talk BM got English slang..
Got meh??
especially the word 'cara-cara' they said..
I've already practice at home..
I feel it was ok..
bt I dunno..
Tomorrow must practice in front of Kaveesha and Husna!!

Husna..
sorry ya for what I've done today..
I just can't control myself..
And I've told you beforehand what I can be when I'm stressed, kan?!
Anyway, I'm just voicing out..
Since you still keep doing the same thing when Kaveesha told you not to..
I guess I have to tell you again lo..
We just don't want a one-man-show in our competition!!
We are a team, together we will fight til the end..
K??
remember: THE LAW OF ATTRACTION!! :)

nightmare!!

Oh God...
Please tell me it's all just a dream...
It didn't really happened, did it??

Went to school,
struggling to memorize my script..
#Reading time, went counselling room to add 1 more slide..(the 1 that had killed me)

Proceeded to the hall..
Set up the laptop..
Yuga said SL went to take the plug(??) for the music..
So, we presented half of our presentation without music!!

When its my turn...
well,
-over and inappropriate body gesture
- too nervous
- hands tak tentu arah
- missed out a slide (# dat 1)
- said SORRY when I missed that without actually remembering that there's a mic on my hand..

Fish like hell!!
but still have to act like nnothing happened and keep going on...
haih..
like this still got hope to win ah me??
They said at least I got an experience since this is my 1st time..(although itz a not-so-good experience)
so that I can strengthen my strengths more and improve my weaknesses..
the sorry was a disaster!!

Thanks to WJ and YS..
they are like so cool...*thumbs up*
and so pro man..
haha...^^